Shit I Can't Fucking Stand
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yeah...I'm a potty mouth- ACT LIKE YOU KNOW

This section is just for me to bitch, bitch, and bitch some more. 

I say to my clientel- this is not aimed at anyone in particular.

The offending parties know who they are (and so do we-lol).

The pain is free...restaints and ball gags cost extra.




I know....but it REALLY HURTS!

True, it does. I will not lie or sugar-coat the truth- it hurts, and sometimes it hurts bad, depending on the place you decide to get your tat.

I cannot stand it when....

A person comes in...they want to get something big in a painful area. Hell, or not so big even. The thing is....STAY STILL DAMNIT! We can be the best artist in the fucking known universe, and if you don't sit still for us...we look like we were going through DT's or something. add injury to insult- the offender will go out and tell thier friends, family, and co-workers/fellow inmates that we did that to them. There is nothing like the shame of having to finish a tat one someone who won't sit still. Just because the person has paid, I have to tarnish my reputation. In a severe case we can opt to end the tattoo, but that is only if we can't get them still- not even for a second.

SO pretty please with sugar on top


I really hate it when...

People come in to get a tattoo/piercing and try to negotiate prices with us. The prices are posted for all to see and are QUITE fair. If you shop around you will see that nowhere in the country are the prices any lower than OURS! Yes, thats right boys and don't have to pay more for the best so shut the fuck up and be grateful we don't try to rob you blind for crappy work like some less scrupolous places do!!

Not to mention...when you see our incredibly low ass prices, and you still try to talk us down- have you thought for a split-second how that makes us feel as an artist? I mean are pretty much saying you would not see fit to pay BOTTOM DOLLAR for our work.

Yeah...thats a real quick way to get on our bad sides. None of us take kindly to insults- especially concerning our abilities as a professional artist.

SO PLEASE- don't be a cheap ass motherfucker! may even want to tip us to show a little appreciation for a job well done (although it is not necessary to show your gratitude this way- referrals and a sincere "thank you" work well too).

I know when I get a tip from my client, I am not only grateful that they understand and appreciate the importance of my job (I'm not serving you drinks, ya know)- but I hook them up with complimentary samples of aftercare supplies if I got 'em.

SO there you have it...the moral of my story:


I'm sure other artists out there love these clever one-liners...
"If we make it bigger, will it cost more?"
"Are you having any specials today?"
"Do ya'll give discounts...?"
"Say, where are your ARM tattoos at?"
"Hook me up...I'm looking for something bad-ass"
"After I peeled the scab off all the color faded."
"My boyfriend came on my bellybutton ring and now it's all red. Do you think it could be infected?"

Yes...people actually say these things to us.


.....some shit I like.....



Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart.

The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on Earth.

Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821-1881)


Many a person wants to get a tattoo, and EVERYONE is afraid of needles (except for the odd exceptions like Miss Kat). So, what do people do? They go out and try to drink up their courage. Some people opt for other substances to fuel their motivation...however, most people drink.

When you consume alcohol (or take aspirin) you thin out your blood. When your blood is thin, you bleed more when the surface of your skin is broken by the tattoo needles. So, as much ink as we put in, the pussy will bleed out...causing him/herself further pain and torment.

This is what they are usually trying to avoid in the first damn place.

They defeat their own purpose.

The other types of pussies (those who take other substances, ie: Xanax or other sedative like drugs) are almost just as bad. True...a person who is "barred" out will not necessarily bleed more, but their new lack of equilibrium will cause them to have a hell of a time sitting still for us.

Not to mention their judgement is poor at a moment when it will matter forever.

The effect is not a good one...and the pussy will be the one stuck wearing it.


Is sex dirty? Only if you're doing it right. -Woody Allen